 As I was leaving to play tennis, I noticed my partner had left a message on voice mail saying she couldn’t play and had gotten a sub, not saying who the sub was, which was odd. Still, I headed to the court, looking forward to playing. Fortunately for me I saw her before she saw me. I stopped. Trying to control my anger. My partner knew better than to pair me with a woman who had done her best to isolate me from other players, telling lies about me, accusing me of cheating, criticizing me in front of others. I thought about leaving, but that wouldn’t be fair to the other two with whom I played regularly. When the woman saw me she smirked. I took a deep breath and made a quick decision. I’d kill her with kindness. I returned her nasty look with a faked smile, deeply satisfied by her puzzled expression.
When I hit a ball out she scolded me for not running fast enough. Normally I would have responded with a dirty look or a defense. Not this time. I shook my head and said, “You’re right. Next time I’ll start sooner.” Another bewildered look. When she hit a ball out I said, “Good try.” When she hit a hard line drive I said, “Well done!” No matter what she did or how she played, I reacted with feigned caring and support, enjoying her confusion. I could see her staring at me as we changed sides. Hostility had given way to incomprehension. I grinned when she couldn’t see me. When one of the other two women tried to console me about having to play with a woman who had maligned me, I told them it was fine, and in a weird way, it was. She was a pretty good tennis player and with every compliment she played better. Much to my astonishment, after I hit a hard ball to the far left of the opposite court that won us a game, she muttered, “Good shot!” I thanked her. We ended up winning two of the three sets. As we were about to leave the court I said, “Thanks for playing with us today. You’re welcome to sub any time.” She nodded, looking baffled. When I got to my car I couldn’t stop laughing. Who knew reacting to hostility with smarmy kindness could be so much fun. Have you experienced a time when you reacted in ways that contradicted how you felt?
2 Comments
Marlene Simon
8/6/2022 10:34:48 am
This was a wonderful story! Thank you for reminding me in such a vivid way that "kill them with kindness," is so powerful. I could visualize this story so clearly and it brought such joy. This is really taking the high road. I am extremely sensitive and get my feelings easily hurt so my heart was truly going out to you. But I am grateful for your sharing and I'm sure will have the opportunity to use this approach. So proud of you and how satisfying this must have been. Bravo, you!!
Judy Costlow
8/23/2022 09:08:51 pm
Nancy, a great story! I can only think what fun you had. Maybe there is a deeper message - for politics. Maybe winning some of them over with true interest and kindness, even when I disagree with them could work. Who knows? Thanks for the fun! Judy Leave a Reply. |
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Nancy King is a widely published author and a professor emerita at the University of Delaware, where she has taught theater, drama, playwriting, creative writing, and multidisciplinary studies with an emphasis on world literature. She has published seven previous works of nonfiction and five novels. Her new memoir, Breaking the Silence, explores the power of stories in healing from trauma and abuse. Her career has emphasized the use of her own experience in being silenced to encourage students to find their voices and to express their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with authenticity, as a way to add meaning to their lives.
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